You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
