they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
