I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
