She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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