New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
