I wish my penis had an off switch
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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