do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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