So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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