I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
