ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
