Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I didn't notice because vodka
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
