Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
