We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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