im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
