By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
