i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Im part way to drunk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize