i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
