i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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