Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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