You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
3 2 1 whiskey
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
