Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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