Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
