My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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