piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
