She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
