the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
