oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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