I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
