I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
