The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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