thus making me awesome and them whores
high people should be assigned attendants
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
