Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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