I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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