HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize