He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
