I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
