Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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