Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
