you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
