Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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