He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
