I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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