end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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