Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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