I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
