Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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