Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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