He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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