I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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