I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize