So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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