Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
