Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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