i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
