Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize