God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
