so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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