someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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