How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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