I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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